The Weekender #39: Okay.

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Okay. This post was meant to be another thing. It was mean to be full of exciment, maybe with a little vertigo but full of happiness. Now, however, there´s nothing about that anymore, just some emptiness and fear..

Plans in Madrid have changed, a lot. I was counting on somebody and they let me down. In the worst moment possible, last minute. I just cannot believe I´ve been such a fool standing up for someone that probably didn´t deserve shit. Someone I considered my friend but that was too focused on their belly to give a fuck about me, or others. I too have a life. I too have problems. But being always the main character is not possible, and feeling sorry for yourself all the time won´t help you at all. I have barely slept, my eyes are puffy, I almost cannot contain my tears while typing this and I´m hurting. So much my heart aches. Maybe I take some days off the blog, although I know this shouldn´t stop me. But the pain is real. And the feelings are real. And the dissapointment, that´s also real. Maybe this is just a lesson for me to stop being such a good person, always thinking people will give it back to me, or at least won´t trick me. Fuck, I am so sad right now.

Okay.
okay.
Time to reset.

MORE ON: INSTA @CARLOTARULES || TWITTER @CARLOTARULES || BLOGLOVIN´

 

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4 thoughts on “The Weekender #39: Okay.

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